Thursday, March 31, 2005

Wishy-Washy Me

No. No talk of food today. Sometimes there are better things to linger on than your palatable heaven. And sometimes I'd rather talk about food than deal with the crazy stuff going on in my life.

Just when I thought I was finally ready to head somewhere serious with someone, I have decided to take a step back and be a dipstick about the whole situation. I dont give a flying fig what anyone says anymore. Im getting too old to be unwavering in my decisions. Fuck, if I'm wrong then goddamit let me be wrong through and through. I just wanna be reactive day-to-day. And it seems some things are not going to look as shiny as they were when I first saw them.

But then again, maybe I'm ranting because I really don't have a clue on what to do...

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Chocolate-topped, peanut butter-filled donuts

I have permanently (somewhat halfheartedly) decided to go on a diet. Well not exactly a strict one, more of a chocolate/ice cream/pastry/unnecessary bread strike for this summer. Blame it on watching “Super Size Me” last night. Blame it on my being middle heavy. Or blame it on my unwavering desire to flaunt that bikini body hiding somewhere inside of me. But one of the biggest hurdles are these unavoidable sinful spawns from down under called Hot Loops donuts. I hate them so much it kills me to not buy one a day! Talk about inner struggle. I don’t even care about their Oreo-topped, caramel filled variety (which is their bestseller) . I love peanut butter!

I am feeling girly today, hence I decided to snub my cross-trainers for a pair of stilettos and gym pants for a snug pair of slacks. So while my friends are trying to further devote themselves to selfless causes like joining protest marches, helping build homes for the homeless and raising money for charity, I am busy trying to lift myself up from further wallowing in despair and hopelessness. I am trying to get back a broken friendship which I though would be a bridge burned forever. I am trying to cope with the knowledge that my best friend is leaving the country and will not be within my reach anymore during those times when he was accessible at a press of my “panic” button.

I am also trying to decide what to do with someone too far away from me right now.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Rainy Days and Easter Sundays

It rained exactly at one past midnight last night.
Right after i was done with my last batch of laundry (what can i say, I like doing everything at night!), the first few drops started to trickle. I was just lucky I didn't leave anything hanging outside where it would eventually turn smelly in a soggy way come morning.

One of the reasons I so look forward to summer is hinged upon the premise that it will mean no sign of rain for the next 2 months. But of course, the wet weather is still riding the coat tails of March, so there's bound to be mini-showers here and there before April Fool's Day. In fact, our local weather man reports mild rains this afternoon.

I am one of those people who get adversely affected by the weather. a lot.
Not that it brings any special memory or event triggered by the rain. Maybe its because everyone goes into hiding when it rains and I feel just a tad bit more lonely than usual. Or maybe its because I like watching the hustle and bustle of Manila and when it rains everything is in a standstill.

There are a few nice things I like about the rain though.
I remember unforgettable slippery hardcore soccer games with friends brave enough to come out even during typhoon weather just for a few hours of scrimmage. I remember alot of diving, sliding and slipping going around. We'd bring garbage bags to put our backpacks in and leave it in the middle of the field. I remember getting the Dirtiest player award most of the time because I had the most mud on me (hazards of being a goalie). We'd look so icky afterwards that even the cabs and jeepneys would discriminate against takng us in. We'd walk barefoot to the nearest faucet and try to take some sort of makeshift shower (it aint easy when the faucet's only 3 feet high). I remember praying more people would arrive so we could have a great game. And the people I count on usually do. Regardless of how impossible it was to get there because of the weather. We'd be the only loonies out there in colorful jerseys trying to run around ("muck around" is more like it) in the soft field. I'd think we were crazy if it weren't for the fact that it was so much fun back then

Well, yesterday was easter Sunday and there was no rain. But there was a lot of soccer though and boy was it good to be back on the field. But it wasn't the same guys I usually played with before. They were all still in mourning for mervs. I can't blame them. It felt awful going back to the field last saturday and seeing it devoid of any soccer for the first time in years.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

X marks the spot

(x) snuck out of the house
(x) got lost in your city
( ) seen a shooting star
(x) had a serious surgery
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas
(x) kissed a stranger
(x)hugged a stranger
( )been on a fist fight
( ) been arrested
(x) tried/done drugs
(x) Had alcohol
(x) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your
( ) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(x) swore at your parents
(x) been in love
(x) been close to love
(x) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
(x) broken a bone.
(x) been high
( ) skinny-dipped
(x)skipped school
( ) flashed someone
( ) saw a therapist
(x) played spin the bottle
(x) gotten stitches
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(x) bitten someone
(x) got the chicken pox
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) crashed into a friend's car
(x) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
(x) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them
( ) stolen something from your job
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(x) been to Europe
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced
(x) seen someone die
(x) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa
(x) Driven over 400 miles in one day
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) lost a child
(x) gone to college
(x) graduated college
( ) done hard drugs...
(x) tried killing yourself
( ) fired a gun...
(x) purposely hurt yourself...
( ) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone

Friday, March 25, 2005

Creamy papaya shakes

Only in my cousin's house can I have the best tasting, blissfully overflowing papaya shakes in town.
Their version involves, crushed ice, one whole ripe papaya, Nutrasweet (we're a family of diabetics), a citrus fruit and nice low-fat milk.
Add all these up and you've got the perfect pick-me-upper for one of those days when your holed up in the house with nothing to do and nowhere to go.

Right now, theyre all downstairs watching "Kung Fu Hustle" which I've seen one too many time already. I love Stephen Chow, but I can't stand too many re-runs of ANY movie. But I can't deny that Shaolin Soccer rocks! Since its Holy week and all the major malls are closed, we have nothing to depend on but family and cool movies for good company.

I was talking to a friend yesterday night and I felt liberated to be able to talk about some things I have not been able to say out loud for many years now. It is good feeling. It makes me feel like I can finally move on and find some sort of alternate happiness that i didnt think even existed. It also made me realize that I've been meeting all these sorts of people and they all serve a purpose. They all show me different ways of how to live or not live my life. They point out certain directions which i can either admire or stay away from. Most especially the guys, I 've never been a good communicator when it comes to the same sex, I have an aversion to people who share the same chromosomes as my mother.

I'm going overboard again.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Feasting on Pesto

Most of the people in my family are what you call pesto people.
For instance, my favorite aunt and uncle's house is always amply stocked with the usual green pesto and red pesto variety. Without fail, I can always look forward to good quality pesto with fine Barilla angel hair pasta or toasted focaccia bread.

Pesto also reminds me of a friend who had about a dozen giant purebred dogs in his house. He was one of those really rich guys who was always alone at home with the househelp, while his parents and other siblings were out of the country or something like that. All the money in the world couldn't have bought that guy any happiness. And it wasn't because he was weird or a typical black sheep or something, he was actually pretty cute... He started out promising enough, getting into one of the top universities in the country, making it to the fencing team, but that just wasn't enough of course. it takes more than just whats goin on outside to sustain a good person. Some people still need some sort of affirmation from their bloodlinks too.

Anyway, me and another friend would always end up hanging at his house. One, because he preferred staying in his room (which had a pretty nice set-up i might add) and two, because they always had good food! The best thing I remember having was chicken drumsticks with pesto dip. I totally went ga-ga over that dip! It was too late when I realized it had some sort of "magic" ingredient in it to make it more interesting.....

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Doggone Days

Last night, i was watching a documentary on illegal dog trading, dog cooking and canine maltreatment.
I couldn't finish the program. Being an adamant pet lover, it hurt me on so many levels to know what some dogs are going through in other parts of the country.
I'd rather go through another multiple root canal than have to see and hear those horrid images again.

One scene that was replayed over and over again was that of a dog, brutally stuffed inside a rice sack and kicked again and again. You could hear him/her bark at first, until it turned into a whimper and I guess into a moan or cry. Those people who have never heard an animal cry, consider yourselves lucky. I once had a rabbit who jammed its leg in a ditch and I had to bring it to the vet to have it's hind leg cast. It cried so much that I wanted to cry myself. An animal crying is the sound of pure instinctual pain. Otherwise, when would you hear a rabbit make any sort of sound right?

Back to the dogs, it was supposed to be an in-depth report on the animal rights law and why eating dogs are illegal. But they interviewed alot of poor, hungry people who were willing to eat anything to survive, even if it meant stealing someone else's pedigreed pet poodle. So I guess they were trying to sway the sympathy for the humans too. But I'm sure most two-legged people would hate it if dogs started eating us for lack of better fare.

I miss my dogs Choco and Taffy, up there in doggy heaven.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Alpha Whore Cookies

I once went up to the summer capital a few years ago with only one agenda in mind.
There was supposedly this convent that made these unbelievably yummy gourmet food products on a limited basis during certain times on certain days. They were so well-known that even in the lean tourist months, you'd still have to line up for your orders, and even then, you could only buy a maximum of 2 jars/packs per item because some people tend to hoard the good stuff and they would run out of things to sell even before selling time was over. If you were unlucky enough like my aunt who went up there twice already and would come back empty-handed, because the nuns decided NOT to make that particular product on that particular day.

Now, i don't really care about their other products. I am enslaved by taste to only one. And so far, there has been no other contender that can come close to that kind of taste. What i'm talking about is Good Shepherd's Alfajor Cookies (hence the title of this entry, just pardon my tacky wordplay). It consists of two small circular slabs of crumbly floury stuff which sandwiches this rich caramel filling that is testament to the fact that quantity and quality are excellent when they come hand in hand. Take all that and cover it with confectionary sugar and you've got the product that will be on my mind for the entire 5 hours it takes to get there to buy it. Every bite actually melts and crumbles delectably in your mouth, leaving you in want for more than half a dozen pieces in one sitting. (sinful? perhaps. pleasurable? yes oh yes!) And it only costs less than two dollars a bottle!

A veritable second placer would be the in-house brand of Wal-mart called Sam's choice 39% More Chocolate Chip Cookies. it costs $1.70 for a nice big enough pack that'll last you maybe a week (if your thrifty). The people who make it actually swear that they pack more choclate chips in one cookie than any other brand and i think they're right. you cannot bite into these cookies without coming out with at least 3 or 4 pieces of half-melted chocolate chips. They said that 39% was the most they could add because if you put in any more than that, the cookie will come out too soft or too crumbly already. Think of it more as Chocolate chips with cookie bits rather than the other way around. Sadly, it probably won't be available locally anytime soon because it expires too easily (shelf life is a month or so, I think)

I remember Alfajor cookies lately not just because I am going up to the mountains again sometime soon this summer, but because it will always remind me of someone i shared it with in the past. :)

Monday, March 21, 2005

Super salads

It's really funny how far up you can go in one minute,
and then you're crashing down a hundred miles a second in another.

That's exactly how I feel right now.

If you look at things from one perspective, everything can seem like a pretty swell deal.
You're happy, you're healthy, you eat well, you are loved. You are not in want for anything more than what you have already. in other words, you do not crave, you do not long for, you do not covet what you cannot, should not and will not ever have.

But then the mind starts wandering into unwanted places that makes it doubt its complacency, makes it feel insecure, uncomfortable and greedy. You aspire. you hope and then you start feelingincomplete.

This is exactly how i wish i didn't feel right now.

Surprisingly, I havent been too hungry lately. I'm quite content with some nice creamy broccoli soup and a big helping of veggie salad. Funny how some restos with salad bars seem to think that fruits and vegetables can be mixed together in one big bowl of cornucopia. I'm not a picky eater (as long as it aint slimy) so I filled my plate with the usual leafy fare, along with raisins, melon, corn, pineapple and watermelon chunks too. The ultimate salad hybrid. A pretty filling meal. Healthy on the tummy too.

I dunno if i am psychologically incapacitated by the notion that I have been spending too much (on food) or if I am just basically out of sync again. I am just being lonely again. My friend Dre said we should form a club or support group or something. He misses his girlfriend in Long Island too. At least he knows she misses him too.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Farewell friend

The weekend was not without its share of bad news. An old football friend got stabbed inside the campus of the state university late last week while trying to defend his girlfriend against three robbers. He got stabbed in the chest and died instantly. He was supposed to be graduating in a few days.I always feel like I'm gonna cry thinking about it. he was one of those guys who didn't hesitate to make the first move to greet you when he saw you on the field or wherever. he was one of those undoubtedly nice guys with no ill intent for anybody. He will be buried wednesday morning and our football club is having an overnight prayer vigil in his hometown tuesday night. God, he was still so young.

I'm going to miss you on the field mervs, you were one hell of a player.

Just a list

13 random things that I like
[01] Good books
[02] goalkeeping
[03] middle linebacking
[04] beach bumming
[05] fruit smoothies
[06] gigantic chocolate chip and pecan cookies
[07] kimchi
[08] persistent puppies
[09] tight hugs from out-of-the-blue
[10] salvador dali
[11] Good music from a good audio system
[12] tasting new food for the first time
[13] a hot warm bath before going to bed

[12 favorite movies]
[01] The adventures of Baron Munchausen
[02] Labyrinth
[03] Amelie
[04] Finding Neverland
[05] All Mighty Ducks movies
[06] Cats and dogs
[07] Crying Freeman
[08] Edward Scissorhands
[09] all Akira Kurosawa films
[10] Zatoichi
[11] all Woody Allen films
[12] all Quentin Tarantino films (except that short from Four Rooms)

[11 good bands/artists]
[01] Rita Calypso
[02] Norah Jones
[03] Paula Cola
[04] The Beatles
[05] Wilson Philips
[06] Astrud Gilberto
[07] Sergio Mendes
[08] Mr.Big
[09] Kylie Minogue
[10] Black eyed peas
[11] TLC

10 things about me
[01]overly sensitive
[02]not as tough as before
[03]pigs out too often
[04]weak knees
[05]overly hopeful
[06]relates too much to Dilbert
[07]attracted to guys who like Calvin & Hobbes
[08]Wishes she were more attracted to guys who like The Far Side
[09]pizza lover

9 shows I watch
[01] CSI
[02] Fear factor
[03] Friends
[04] Will & Grace
[05] Ed
[06] Joan of Arcadia
[07] One Tree Hill
[08] Arirang shows
[09] ATV

[8 favorite food]
[01] BLT burgers
[02] mushroom or vegetarian pizza
[03] banana cream pie
[04] Estrel's caramel cakes
[05] Korean beef stew with kimchi
[06] Chocolate eclairs
[07] Fried Mozzarella
[08] teriyaki Mushroom panini

[7 things you wear often]
[01]Nike cross-trainers
[02]yoga pants
[04]silver necklace
[05]rainbow flipflops
[06]baby tees

[6 things that make you happy]
[01] having enough time to quietly read a good book
[02] having the luxury of watching a new korean series deep into the night
[03] playing a really good game
[04] taking the time out to spend a day with my grandma and cousins
[05] watching a nice movie with NY fries and dip
[06] sleeping under the sun in a quiet beach

[5 books you read]
[01] Einstein's Dreams
[02] The Prophet
[03] Nightmares and Dreamscapes
[04] A girl's guide to hunting and fishing
[05] Lipshtick

[4 things that irritate you]
[01] dense people
[02] meanness
[03] inconsideration
[04] tacklessness

[3 people you admire]
[01] My gay rights activist professor
[02] My aunt who decided to stick it out by herself abroad
[03] My friends who have yet to run out of patience for me

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Yummy Dark Coffee Jelly

I've been eating alot lately.
Too much for my body to take, which is why now I am feeling very swollen and unhealthy. Blame it on all the frequent breaks I've been taking with my my officemates. Bad, Bad, Bad idea. I need to get back on track NOW. I’ve also been ticking a couple of people off with my clipped comments on their blatantly crass and tasteless remarks about whatever.

There’s this cafĂ© that sells very affordable coffee jelly with cream and milk. There is just one thing I can say about it. It is so heavenly.

My thoughts are all scattered again. I may have forgotten a dear friend’s birthday yesterday. He has not responded to my messages and I’m getting that horrible feeling that I’ve offended without intent yet again (I really hate when this happens. Reminds me too much of the stupid predicaments I’d get myself into way back in high school)

I always like to say that I don’t have too many friends. But in actuality I just realized that I do. I have people who I’ve discounted as being non-friends for reasons like I don’t see them too often or they don’t keep in touch as much as I want them to. But that doesn’t mean they are not my friends. I just overlook the fact that they are closer to me than I really bother to even think about. Hence my being cold and distant at many a time. I really should think about this more.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Food festing

This weekend has been a wonderful wonderful blur.

My entire saturday was spent entirely with friends (non-work related), activities (non-writing related) and food (free!free!free!).

I woke up not too early for our my new team's second game of the season. It was my frist time to don their uniform and I knew once I put it on, there would be no turning back. I am never going to leave this team. They are (to me)the end-all and be-all of the teams here in Manila. Sure enough, we won the game. It was just as fun cheering on the sidelines as it was being cheered on in the field. I love my teammates. They all have talent, passion and the charisma to win in this kind of game.

After that, some of us hied off for a 45-minute drive to catch the Brent international school food festival (a teammate scored us some free tickets. sweet!) It was fun and there was a fantastic fireworks display. Now there will always be two things that will leave me spellbound 1.) snorkelling and watching fish swimming past my face and 2.) standing right smack under a fireworks display. Call me a big kid, but I revel in those kinds of opportunities. It didnt hurt that we got ice cream and cotton candy while watching too.

We got cleaned up after and attended a birthday party. Really cozy, mostly just people from our team and friends. I admit, I got tipsy. My friends like seeing me in this state because it provides an added source of amusement all throughout the night. But i avoid it sometimes because I turn tomato red and slowly start to have a hard time breathing after that. It was crazy fun. But I really hate hangovers.

I was supposed to watch a nice calming movie with my bestfriend but he had a long tiring night too so it's not going to happen today. I'm not too bummed about it. I just came from dance class and that was a nice substitute.

I did not eat much today although I know I deserve to treat myself to even just a nice meal. But I am too stuffed from yesterday to even think about that right now. I also just got my fill of my newly-appointed resident sage (although he doesnt know it yet) the Village Idiot words just now.

It's going to be an even better week than I thought.


Friday, March 11, 2005

Lychee Yoghurt Candy

I’m pretty happy today, I don’t know why exactly.
I guess it’s because my work has been going smoothly and my contract with another job is about to end this weekend. I’m looking forward to all my new tasks, knowing I’m going to be with people who like me more than just another office mate.
I can’t say my articles are the greatest lately though, but they’re pretty okay (I think).

My old call center buddy dropped by for a late late lunch. I’ve been bugging her for the longest time to leave the undead and get a day job. Funny thing is, she’s managed to last as an agent for almost a year now while I couldn’t even hack it for a week. Such tenacity deserves respect. She was such a sweetie that she brought me some cool hard-to-find candies (what a treat!). It had flavors like lychee yoghurt, lime, coffee, grape and pineapple. Weird combinations I think. Interesting to think about though. If there’s one thing I really love, it’s sampling new stuff!

As of today, I think I’ve also learned to let go a bit.
Blame it on my first ever yoga class last night.
No wonder Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna are such devotees.
I’d like to think of it more like a transcendental stretching class. I love feeling all limber and de-stressed. Of course I haven’t been able to perfect the toasted pretzel position or whatever that dang thing is called, but I’m gonna get there “naturally” as my teacher puts it. I need to cleanse my mind of all things and she said that if I can do that successfully for 5 straight minutes, then I am ready for the next big thing. If it weren’t for the weird stiff guy beside me silently cursing and complaining all throughout the exercises(oh sh*t, oh sh*t, f*ck sh*t), I guess it would’ve been perfect. But I know It's useless to shush a person oblivious enough to understand why he should shush in the first place. But like I said, I just let it go.

I got another hilarious email from the Village Idiot. What a riot. It’s been a long time since I’ve read anything that amusing since Jessica Zafra. What a cool guy. Wish there were at least some guys like him in the country. Oh well..

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Juice Almighty

I love juices/smoothies/shakes or anything that involves crushed ice and healthy-tasting stuff. Late last year, one of my enterprising teammates opened a juice bar in the middle of nowhere land, something similar to Jamba Juice in the States. He obviously wasn’t in it for the profit. In fact, he charges practically nothing for a glass of non-sweetened, all natural, jam packed drink. One serving is equal to 3 to 5 servings of fruit. Now, he’s going to be opening new branches inside branches of boxing gyms that another friend owns. I guess great products do sell themselves. Anything that is honestly good does not need much prodding to become successful (well, maybe a little marketing does help). I got to sample one of their bestsellers, a strawberry-banana-pineapple smoothie and it was nothing like any wannabe fruit shake I ever tasted (not even in Boracay). My friend says there are a thousand fruit combinations he can come up with, but only 102 are on the menu. You can even come up with your own mix, it’s all priced the same regardless if you put in one, two, three, four or heck even all the fruits you want, as long as it’ll fit into their one size cup! Pretty neat huh? The owner, even swears it can even be a meal substitute that won’t leave you feeling hungry afterwards. Thank God for people like him.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

A taste of Strawberry Supreme

I met this funny guy who calls himself the Village Idiot. I find it cool that of all the interlaced people on the web, I end up discovering a kindred spirit when it comes to writing. Just like this odd drink I had the other day at Gloria Jean's. It had a mocha chiller base, then they blended real strawberries in it! Pretty cool. Was hard for me to finish (try sipping strawberry chunks with a regular straw dude). It was great compromise for a reluctant coffee drinker like me who prefers all-natural to obviously not.

I am still without time for anything for work (hence, this too short entry) But I will definitely catch up on my non-droid self sometime soon. All be well.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Not exactly the same recipe

I woke up today thinking how much I was going to enjoy having a whole day to myself (well not exactly, i have around a dozen or so articles to write for Monday, but I figured I had most of the day to do what i want)

So I decided to start it off with the gym class I look forward to the most. In fact, my dance class has always been the best way to cap off the week for me (i dont usually work out on sundays, which is reserved for family and non-football friends)

So I woke up early (meaning, before lunch) and hied my ass of to the gym (I read in an article from a well-known fitness guru that you should only work out at a gym that is located 15 minutes or less from where you live, otherwise its not time-efficient for you. Although i could agree to that, It is pretty inapplicable because 15 minutes or so travel time in my area will only get you past a couple or so blocks around the neighborhood.Come rainy season, good luck with that)

I was anticipating the fact that I would get to see my favorite (okay, okay, my irresistibly favorite!) teacher. usually, I find him sipping coffee at the lounge before his class starts, but I figured he must be running late. I finally got to wear this cute green NBA basketball jersey my friend brought from the States as a Christmas gift (I'd been raving about my hiphop class for months, so he thought I would like it and I did! He's one of the very few guys I know who can top me when it comes to gift giving)

Then I found out that someone else was gonna sub for him because he couldn't make it today! I love dancing anyway, so I thought it would still be fun. But for some reason it wasn't. The moves may have been the same, but the class just wasn't as fun.
Or he wasn't as cute.

I just want my real teacher back.

The 2005 PFFL Manila Women's Selection Team

Originally uploaded by ditoy_eagle.
Hmmmm, i almost forgot about this photo. I wasnt feeling as happy as I actually look. I hate playing and knowing i'm not gonna win. Looking back, it was one pretty fun day and I'm glad I'll always have friends willing to cheer me up and cheer me on. :)

Friday, March 04, 2005

Teriyaki Mushroom Panini

I am at the office, not running late but my eyelids are begging for sleep.
I have declared amnesty on my body and decided to avoid all gym activity today.
Because later, I am gonna be running around like a funny headless chicken again, catching taxis and carrying endless loads of cutesy girl stuff to shoot for our magazine. This kind of work makes my feet hurt so much that i wanna cut them both off, but I'm also loving every single minute of it. Where else do you get paid to (window) shop 'til you drop, get to show off your (supposedly good) taste and get paid for it all at the same time?!

I indulged in good food again yesterday.
I couldve skipped that trip to Deck Deli (which is so strategically placed that you see it every time you enter and exit our building). I couldve hesitated just a little bit more in getting that yummy panini and strawberry soy milk before i hit the gym. I couldve showed a little more restraint (goes to show much I don't have in that department)

I am all out and about again today. No time to think about guys. Guys who will ignore and feign fleeting interest in me. Guys who have nothing but friendship on their mind.

But I do have a guy encounter story about yesterday.
I ran into a guy (inside the office) talking to my soon-to-be boss. This happened to be the same guy I once had an "email" thing with. He's one of the few guys who I thought really had the talent and charisma to be a good writer. Our thing escalated to a point wherein we had to meet up, which happened once and never again. But apparently, i was right because he's now coordinator for one of the other departments in our humongous company. But the funnt thing is, i just found out that my new job involved coordinating with him. A LOT. Now how awkward is that?

Must be Fate's way of telling me "Ha-ha-ha you silly-willy girl, you can avoid me but you can't get away from me. You will always be bound fall into countless unavoidable situations where you will be shocked, helpless and humiliated all at the same time but not exactly in that order."

I can't wait.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Sushi in the sky with Diamonds

I am not a big lover of raw food.
In fact I am not a big lover of Japanese food nor Japanese people(except for Tempura and all the j-pop fashion i've been seeing lately)

But I do understand why people love eating Japanese.
It is clean, healthy and has a certain air to it when your in the process of eating.
It is dignified and does not make you look like a starved 3rd world inhabitant (unless of course you like stuffing down 3 pcs of California Maki down your tummy all at the same time)

Japanese food also brings together people from all walks of life who appreciate it.
It doesnt matter what you may look like (yuppie scum, rasta mountain dude, boring bland guy from wherever, or street peddler) As long as you can afford it, all kinds of people will eat it.

I have no point in writing this down. I am just trying to make reason out of nothing except for the fact that I do not eat sushi, but I wouldn't go as far as to say I hate it(because I dont). I am also masking the fact that I have written a very personal entry before this, so I am hoping it does not get read anymore.

I am too lazy to write in my journal at home, so here I am letting my thoughts get published on cyberspace for all to see (and hopefully ignore).

Oh, before I forget, I tried this oh-so-yum mushroom panini sandwich for lunch. It came in different flavors and I chose teriyaki. Boy, was that a revelation. Apparently, there's this new healthy food place called Deck Deli right at the lobby of my office and I've never taken a second look at it before til today. yum, Yum,YUM!!!! i like the mushrooms more than meat! I tried the 3-kind mushroom pizza at Yellow Cab pizza last night and it was fairly good, just nothing fantastic. And some of the mushrooms were already too crunchy for its flavor to be enjoyed.

My life is full of work right now. My love life is full of junk. No space for nice, simple, uncluttered thoughts. My body aches like hell right now (went to the gym 6am!)but better that than my heart.

Merry Me

I wish I could get married before I reach 30.

I never actually thought about it much til I felt that it would be a great injustice to not have a complete family by that time. That would mean i'd have wasted so much of my life (1/3 to be exact, i doubt i'd go beyond 90years in this mega-polluted planet)

i want to be with people I could cook homemade fudge with and enjoy every sinful minute of it in front of the boob tube.

I want to be with people i can hug anytime i wanted to, as tight as i wanted to, without feeling the least bit hesitant or scared if I'll get hugged back.

I want to worry about someone, be concerned about someone and talk to someone endlessly through life, about a hundred million things, without thinking that what i say isn't really important or intelligent

I want to be with people who will not abuse me verbally nor make me feel like I don't belong in this world because I am not as great as they thought I should be.

I want to be with people who give away free hugs (and sometimes kisses), who will not mind if I ask for soup when I'm sick and not think I'm acting up.

I would just like to feel what it should feel like to be in a family.

I've been asked too many times what I want most in this life and I hesitate to answer because I risk sounding too unambitious, lazy and lethargic.

I just wish I could be part of my own complete family. Imperfect, messy, scary and all that jazz. I want the works. But this time there's gotta be lots and lots of Love.

Melted Chocolate Mousse

Yesterday had to be the busiest day of my life, if not year.
I had an interview to do, more sourcing for lifestyle items and 5 location shoots at different venues! Crazy but helluva fun shit.

Anyway, I met this young photographer, who was gonna be share with me this chaotic schedule. He showed up late for the first shoot, which meant we were gonna be late for ALL the shoots since our shoot sequence was supposed to be soething like this

12nn - Papemelroti main store, roces ave.
1pm - 50th ave. Robinson's Galleria
3pm - Chamba Juice - Fort Bonifacio
4pm - Pretty Fit store, Glorietta
6pm - Xsite mobile, Megamall

He finally showed up a little past one and I was halfway going ballistic (hadn't had lunch, ended up eating at 5pm!)

It was worth it though. The shoots went great. He wouldve been absolutely charming if it weren't for the fact that he was taken. And it's funny how I never have the guts to look at guys I like face to face, because I'm afraid it shows how much I really start to like them. But by late afternoon, I was over that illusion of getting to know him better. He was just another lucky addition to my stumbled-upon-a-diamond-in-the-rough list.

He's a professional photographer by today's standards, although he never formally went to study it. He's doing a lot of corporate work lately, which is why I've only met him now. He's open, friendly and has a great smile. I saw some of his work and the underwater shots he took while scuba diving were very impressive. He's always out of town for some assignment and I guess the whole idea of knowing more about that was what drew me to him.

Anyway, i bought us takeout food from ever-dependable KFC and I decided to get dessert for us both. My favorite Chocolate mousse (their brownies suck). Apparently, those KFC counter people thought it would be cool to make fun of the harassed-looking lady (me,Me,ME!) by not putting those much-needed spoons in the takeout bag. I ended up eating macaroni salad with a straw (not a pretty site for someone ravenous enough to eat fatty fatty breaded chicken) and the dessert went untouched.

By the time we got to the last destination, the mousse had melted totally. In fact I would say it evaporated! Because when I looked into the cups, all I could see were the lower half (which was chocolate cake, i think). My endpoint: He was cute.

This blog entry sucks because I am doing it during lunch time and I havent eaten a thing since I went to the gym at 6:30am (hardcore!). I have to be at another shoot today by 2;30pm and two more after that. I feel so compressed because I am packing more into my day than usual.

I have decided to accept fulltime work by next week because I need a summer job and I'd like to meet some tall shampoo models in person (which is what I'm gonna be doing at a presscon next week). I am also very happy to have money in the bank, so that evrytime my mom declares to evict me from the house, at least I will not go hungry while I am sleeping on the streets.

I am not really hungry but sad. I wish I had functional parents who wouldnt evict me and ask me to pay for the air I breathe every other day, or invite me over to their other wife's house and then forget about it totally. Or ask me to go to the hospital and nursemaid my food poisoned-half brother, who i've never met. Or tell me stuff they wish they'd did but didn't anyway.

I wish for too many things.