Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Not In The Mood

I'm not really feeling up to writing anything today, particularly for this week.
Especially this week.
But since I haven't exactly been dutiful in updating my blog, I figured I might as well "unload" today...

I am on a self-imposed diet starting this week.
It's called the "someone-stole-all-my-money-last-weekend-and-I-have-to-scrimp-for-a-few-weeks" diet. Ever heard of it?
Only side effects are the occasional feeling of being stunned/shocked/paralyzed with disbelief at the thought that you had been deprived of what you own.
I know I'm hyping it up again (sympathetic friends have told me to let this issue go as I should be thankful that worse things didn't happen), but the feeling just plain sucks.
Here I am trying my darnedest to be thrifty (that's short for "something short of being a scrooge"), buying nice things only if they're at least 40-70% off, foregoing going out to shave off added expenses ("Let's skip the bar scene and just kill time at the gym and dance til-we-drop for free!"), and deprive myself of some supposedly minute details, ("Oh I guess I don't really need that new gym bag, the seams on my old one can hang in there for a few more months, little holes adding up and all.")

What kills me is that if I had known I'd be ripped off like this, I shouldn't have tortured myself waiting for those killer New Balance trainers to go on sale, while at the same time being stressed all the while that maybe by the time that they DO go on sale, my size would've already have been sold at regular price! (I should explain: I rarely splurge on anything, and when I do, it's always gonna be on a pricey pair of cross-trainers, my brand of choice for the past few years having been New Balance, or as a snazzy-but-not-as-comfortable runner-up, Nike. But rarely, and I mean RARELY do I find a pair that really "speaks" to me. And when I do, this is usually a pair I know I'll end up thinking about alot, so I might as well get it regardless of the tag price. But of course, there has to be some sort of discount or else I'll just wait it out like the rest of the hoi polloi.

Anyway, I've never really had anything stolen from me (except maybe an almost empty wallet with my pager clipped to it back in college). I've lost tons of stuff. Stuff I probably don't even know I've lost til maybe years later and it just pops into my head. But it's negligible. I buy cheap stuff all the time. Which makes it less heartbreaking when it's gone. But if it's lost jewelry or money, well that's tough luck. But I guess the bigger issue for me (which kinda betrays how naively I view the world) is that It still escapes me how these things can happen and keep on happening. I can't put into words my exact sentiments about this, but the feeling of helplessness is there. I feel bad that I can't do anything to change the situation, except maybe my attitude to it. It will not make me jaded. It should make me more careful.