Tuesday, January 04, 2005

(Hopefully) a fruitful 2005

This year, I've decided to give somebody a second chance.

I never even thought it out, lest I come up with some over-analyzed theory on why I should forever remain unloved in 2005.

Before I knew it, I was already on a date, holding hands with the one guy I thought I was never going back to. So much for dreams about my best friend (refer to my 1st entry) and reconciliations with my first boyfriend. I've already decided to do this, head first, not looking back at what havoc this would wreak on my psyche (and his). Because in the long run, I really can't see us together.

Kinda like this wicked roller coaster ride I took once. Felt like my insides were gonna spill out any minute, but i still held on knowing it was gonna stop eventually. 3 minutes later, getting off the ride, i felt like I had vertigo, hypertension and was pregnant all at the same time. but i'm glad i went through it (lest I be called King Chicken Shit by my unsympathetic friends). I'm glad I got through it. And thats how its always going to be. Do it, get through it and come out barely alive but breathing with still enough intensity left inside you to love again.

ha-ha, i'm talking gibberish i know. but isn't it always like that when your (supposedly) in love?

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