Saturday, April 30, 2005

Sweet sorrows

I was talking to someone early this morning and he commented how some things cannot be simplified, nor regretted, yet end up being a sort of sweet sorrow.

Can sorrow ever really be sweet?

If it does, then why does it pull at my insides and make me want to go for some momentary distraction of physical pain rather than the torturous reality that is so blatantly glaring at me?

I have a tendency to let my common sense mechanism(boooring) get ahead of me and start raining on my parade before it has even begun. I have been accused of that many times. Yes, I admit. I used to be such a killjoy (now, maybe not as often)

I just spent close to 9 hours under the sun today, and though I thought I'd saved money by getting my cheeks all rosy from all the heat, I'm sure I'm pretty much gonna be paying for all the skin damage when i get all old and wrinkly. Spent the day lounging around with teammates, watched games with them, laughed with them and most importantly, spent time with them. You may think that its all just another weekend of football, but when your somebody who is always at the brink of turning their back on the sport forever, this is already a time to be thankful for,for me at least. that i can look back and remember random moments like that is great. But I know there's gonna come a time that I will have to move on.

I'd like to think that all the sweet sorrows in my life have already passed. That they are what could have been, but never was. These are the things I will always fondly think about positively and forget the negative sides to forever. I'm sure everyone has sorrows to keep and sorrows to forget. Just consider yourself lucky it's not something you will have to live with at present.