I just figured out two things tonight.
One, that nearly all my high school batchmates are either already married, married with kids or unmarried with kids. I know I shouldn't feel so left behind (I was second to the youngest in my batch to graduate) but I can't help but feel old right now. But I'm not old! They married young! Some of them even have two or three kids already. Geez...
Two, That Ive been walking around with a queasy stomach all week. Not from food mind you. Ive been watching what I eat ever since I realized summer has arrived and Im still a few (ha-ha) pounds away from a killer bikini body! No, seriously. I really should start caring for myself more and stop worrying about other people for now. I dont really want to sift through whatever mixed-up, fucked-up cornucopia of feelings I have right now. One minute I'm writing about love, another minute I'm griping about pain. It's all so tiring.
Why is it so easy for other people to get married just like that? My bestfriend tried to rationalize it by saying that we are more cautious, therefore more conscientious than others. we worry about bringing a new family into a world that cannot afford it yet. Perhaps this is true. Or maybe there just isnt anyone right enough to build a family with.
Aren't there more pressing things I should be thinking about?