Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Leaning Right

I always thought I was sensitive enough, more than any average person out there. I actually thought I was too sensitive for my own good. But I just realize it wasn't enough. And it took an injury to give me time to think things over and have a newfound appreciation for the things around me.

I hate being sidelined and I have always been used to always being on the go. If it weren't for this, I would probably not have set aside time to think things through. Although I don't think anyone would wish to be on crutches for two weeks or so, it has been a valuable learning experience so far.

1. I am now really grateful for handicap-friendly things like handle bars, ramps and priority parking spaces. Considering that even going up a flight of stairs tires me out lately, these things have made my life a little less uncomfortable. Add to this the random acts of kindness I get from total strangers (although I still have to work on feeling less guilty when asking for help or being dependent on someone to open the door for me and other stuff like that).

2. Time seems to go by fast when your so slow. I wouldn't call myself mobile right now. i hobble, hop or try to slowly side to the general direction of where I want to go, but it is not a fun trip. In fact, if my butt didn't get so numb sitting in one spot the whole day, I would probably prefer to just not go anywhere. I never thought it would be so taxing just to go to the loo. Don't even ask about how laborious it is to get dressed and vice-versa. My grandma, who is 75 pounds, just had hip surgery and uses a walker, would probably make me eat her dust if we raced each other to the kitchen. Knowing that i won't be able to take off my cast til next next week is already killing me. I can only imagine how it would feel to have to use a machine to get around for the rest of your entire life. I know I'm still lucky. My cousin broke his leg in a really major way a few years back and had to use crutches for about two years. Now I truly, truly feel for what he went through.

3. It's kind of funny how in my grandma's house, it's no big deal to see somebody using crutches. In fact, they've got two sets in the house. Because at some point, somebody in the household has had to use it. At least now I won't feel like the resident idiot who was clumsy enough to sprain themselves. Right now, being around family, for me is the best medicine. Because they are unconditional, genuine and natural. This realization pounds into my head that no matter what happens, you can always count on family. You can't always count on your friends to worry about you, they have their own lives to worry about. Only family will stick around even when you turn into this crabby, boring, useless sack of self-pity.

4. Resting has done me good. But it has also made me aware of who actually cares enough to ask about me. I don't really mind not hearing from those who I am not really in touch with, but for those who knew, and still didn't ask, I am kind of disappointed. Yes I know people are busy, distracted or usually problematic, but to someone who knows now nice a text or a quick call would have been, it meant a world of difference. Because sick/injured/sad people sometimes just need to know they are still being thought of.

I want to become a brand new version of me when I get well enough to walk properly again. I will not take my right leg for granted anymore. I will spend extra time taking care of those who really love me and I won't care anymore if all I can write are about these kind of things.

No comments: