Tuesday, May 16, 2006


I think there's something sad about not being afraid of hospitals anymore.
It's sick to find comfort in surroundings like that.
The general assumption is that you only go to hospitals when there's something wrong with you or you don't want something wrong to happen to you.
But to continually induce situations that amp up the risk factor of you ending up in the emergency room is undeniably stupid (no matter how much fun you had in the process).

I've been to quite a number of hospitals in this lifetime, not all of these visits caused by sports.
Hospitals have this damp alcoholic smell. The lighting is off. The fellow patients are either pained, resisting pain or in a state of shock, same goes for their sympathetic but fatigued companions.
The hospital staff look either affected, disaffected or somewhat tired. Occasionally there will be a cute doctor or intern, but that still does not remove the fact that you are in an enclosed area where there is alot of pain going on.
And pain, is an idea I've become all too familiar with especially in the past few months.

In all honesty, it was fun being wheelchaired around for a change. because sometimes I get too tired to pretend I'm still strong. In a hospital, people genuinely want to help you out, not just for show. And I know i can be weak.
Sometimes, i can't tell if i'm in real honest-to-goodness pain or if I'm just acting up. But I guess dripping blood is a good indication. other than that, i can't tell either way. Sad, I told you.
I've also gotten used to being stared at alot when i'm there. Stares that either say "Well what happened to her?" or "Playing contact sports is just a stupid thing for a girl to do." I'm used to different doctors chatting me up to assess my sitaution and then tell me about their old playing days and how they miss being on the field. I am used to all their morbid attention by now.

The Cause:
We played our semis game last saturday despite the typhoon (and better judgement). My eye ended up connecting with someone's elbow (i think it was more of the other way around) and my shoulder popped. so despite wanting to finish the game (playing 2 hours actual game and two hours overtime, but still ending in a draw), i was scooted off to the nearby cardinal santos hospital for x-ray and examination.
So there I was, with lots of caked mud on my wet clothes and cleats, sitting in the x-ray room by myself wondering how the hell do i get myself into these kinds of situations?

Because it all boils down to me. I knew I was asking for it. and i'm still in denial about that.