Standing still

I am feeling like a sad sorry pile of crap right now.
I long for sleep, but am still at work. I almost dozed off on the train getting here, but my selfserving brain decided that its gonna be far more tiring to hop off a farther station than it is to keep yourself conscious for a few more minutes.(been there, done that, dont want to get off weird alien stations ever again)

Tonight, I dont feel like working out or doing anything that involves rigorous knee joint movement. Which unfortunately also involves brisk walking, which i love to do. Which also probably explains my newfound penchant for hailing down grandpa-looking cabbies. Commuting by taxi has never been that appealing to me til now. But still, I am heading to the gym after writing this entry.

I want to eat but I'm not really hungry. Its just my way of getting this sick feeling out of my mind's focus even for just a few peaceful minutes. Its like you feel like you are gonna throw up but never get around to doing it. Im a freak, i know.

I went to a media event today and they seated me right in front of our company's CEO, a fluke because i had arrived late and that was the only available seat! Of course I thought It was just another run-of-the-mill press conference that my editor didnt want to be bothered with, so I just showed up the way I usually do, in jeans, acceptable top (read:not the usual t-shirt) sans makeup. Apparently, It was a quick wake-up call. Yes, people will still respect you for your talent even if you look like garbage, but then it also helps that you can look the part that is assigned to you. Be it for representation purposes or for your own sense of self-confidence. It has finally sunk in that if I am assuming responsibility for the beauty and fashion pages in our mag, I should at least try to look the part lest someone think I do not fit the part.Shucks, and to think I was smug enough to think that I could get by with the same old me.